What am I doing wrong??? PICK ME! PICK ME!

I just read that some bloggers get trips for Europe, $500 gift cards, free product, etc. I want a piece of that!!

Come on, Disney, send ME and my 3 year old on a Disney Cruise so I can blog about it! Heck, I'll let you video me on the cruise - EVEN IN MY BATHING SUIT. Oh wait, you want people to watch the video. Nix the video tape unless someone's throwing in free liposuction.

Maybe they don't realize what I'd be willing to do.

• Wanna take embarrassing before & after photos of my belly and boobs? Go for it, as long as you're tucking & lifting. I don't mind!
• Wanna exploit my relationship with my daughter while we enjoy a Disney vacation? We're in!!!
• Want me to try your product? Ok, I will try it and I will tell everyone about it. Be forewarned: I am honest. If your product sucks, I will say so.
• I need a makeover. I used to dream about being on Extreme Makeover or The Swan. The catch? I won't leave my child that long. She comes with me for part of the trip!
• I'll take diet pills, but no colon cleansing. When my colon needs a good cleansing, I run for the border. A bean burrito and a side order of pinto beans & cheese do the trick.
• I am a prime candidate for What Not to Wear or a similar show.

Come on, I'm a single mom with a deadbeat ex-husband. I'm currently out of work, and I have an anxiety disorder. That makes for EXCELLENT television!